Grandparents Letter

Dear ______________,

Grandma and I have loved you from the moment of your conception and have attempted to communicate that with you in many ways.  We recall the times when you and your family gathered around a Thanksgiving table in our homes in _______ and in _______.  We enjoyed your fun and relaxed spirit when we joined with you in Christmas celebrations in _______.  You have been a joy to watch with the enthusiasm you displayed for life.

But where and when did all that positive vigor change into rebelliousness by choice? When did your heart turn from those who have loved you for years and what happened that caused you to change to a young man we hardly know? Your secrets, lying, and stealing from stores, businessmen, family, your gutter language and choosing to ignore God’s moral counsel, how did that happen? These choices could leave you in the street while your family sleeps in a warm house, dry beds, clean clothes and good food to nourish the body and spirit. That inheritance is yours today for your choosing and for your asking.

You have chosen to walk down a path that is leading you to reject your loving family that would sacrifice their lives for you.  ______, just look at the decisions you have already made that are making your schooling a wash.  Continuing your present course will insure your inability to accomplish your dream of being a ________________________.  We know you can achieve that goal but it is your choice.  We cannot choose for you.

Grandma and I refuse to be silent any longer. We beg you to accept counsel here today from those who love you and will stand with you.  We, your Dad, Mom, family, grandparents here are on your side.

We Love You ________________,

Grandpa and Grandma _______________

A Father’s Letter

Dear ___________

I love you and that is the reason that we are having this meeting this morning.

Ever since you were born, you were a kid who talked non-stop and had energy to burn…in fact, you would often fall asleep talking.

The years have gone by and we moved from Newberg, Oregon to Yakima, Washington. The years have changed us all and nothing will ever change the fact that I love you, your energy, creativity, personableness and being our son.

The reason I am writing this letter is that over the past year and even 2 years, things have begun to change. I could say that it is because you are moving into your teens, but there are things that are occurring that makes you my son…but at times someone I do not know. It doesn’t mean that I don’t love you…I mean that your choices are seeming to not be based in reality and that is what concerns me.

So what has changed? I might say that the biggest change was changing schools to accommodate your last years of being in the public schools, but even that is not of concern.

So what is of concern to me?

• Deciding to leave the house and coming in when you want.
• Announcing to us what you are going to do and generally do what you want. Experimenting with alcohol and drugs.
• Constant verbal assaults on your mom like “fng b” or “fer” or “stupid” or “whatever.”
• Climbing out of the windows frequently at night until I had to lock the ladder up.
• Leaving the night it snowed and sleeping in a newspaper bin for what you called your “Urban Experience.”
• Addictive interactions on line whether that be My Space or e-mail which have included foul language.
• Multiple porn site visits.
• Loss of money around our home and our feeling the need to lock our bedroom door as you have gone through the room to find things. Music that screams and yells
• Body piercings’ that were not approved.
• Habitual lying and responding in ways that seem to make the person asking the question feel good by giving them what they want to hear. Shoplifting / Theft.
• Believing that the people you work for and corporations owe you whatever you seem to deem you need or want.

With all of this and there is more…I am going to take you to _______________ for a for a 2 week wilderness trip at a minimum. You and I will be going and we are going to be leaving in a few minutes.

I love you son and this is an option for your healing, perspective and wholeness, as the way you are choosing and the path that you are going down is hurting you more than you know emotionally, relationally, and spiritually.

I love you son and I look forward to spending these 2 weeks with you in ________________ in the wilderness and on the river to gain perspective and healing for you and our family…

Former Principal

Dear ________________,

I have known you now for under five years and over that time there have been quite a few changes.

At first sight, you demonstrated strong leadership qualities accompanied by an engaging personality.

For instance, because of your contributions in the ____________ class, so many people told me about your remarkable leadership ability.  That class was your shining moment.   In addition, your charismatic personality draws people to you trusting that you sincerely care.   However, both the leadership and the charm are being used for worse and not for better.

Although there have been a number of negative interactions between us lately,  the final episode came when ____________________________________. 

It was good that we were finally able to discuss the incident, and also your experiences with pornography, drug use, and other boundary related issues like ___________________________________________.  Unfortunately however, you demonstrated no guilt, only excuses.  When a mere apology was requested, none came.

It now seems that your preoccupation with self-gratification is leading you down a one-way street fast.  Your appearance has changed remarkably just in the past few months.  The bold, inappropriate behaviors have escalated.

I am deeply concerned.

You might be wondering why I would take the time this morning to be here in this group.  I have nothing to gain by doing this...except hope that you might face the truth, turn around, and make your life count for something good.  This could be the first step in getting the real ________________ back.

I urge you to make the most of your time with your dad on a wilderness experience in _________________.  Cooperate.  Look forward to the peace of mind this could bring you and the new direction unfolding.

If you are calling and are experiencing a life threatening emergency, please call 911 for immediate assistance.